Written By Zionne Soule
Hello beautiful mind, how are you doing today? If you’re a man reading this, you’re in the right place and this is a safe space. How often do you check in with your mental health? You’re a woman reading this and you have men in your life; perhaps your brother(s) cousin(s), partner or friend(s)? How often do you check in with them to know how they’re really feeling? Not the usual “I’m fine. or “I’m okay” because these phrases have gently carried absorbed abyssal pain. Some go to the extent of unaliving themselves because they’re extremely misunderstood and can’t take the internal mayhem anymore. A research from the National Centre for Injury Prevention and Control (a United States agency) under the Centers for Disease Control states that sucicide rate of men in 2024 was nearly four times higher than the rate of women.
This goes out to the men that keep their feelings consciously or unconsciously locked up; we see you and we’re here for you. Unlike generations before, these men are now more expressive about their feelings. Using the transformative power of music as a catalyst, which has silently been a quiet refuge, giving a voice to feelings many men find difficult to express, artists have transmuted their sounds into spaces where pain, hope and healing intersect. They nudge other men to understand their feelings, confront their inner battles, embrace those uncomfortable vulnerable moments and find comfort knowing that someone else has walked a similar path. While they’re a whole lot of songs, let’s cite these striking examples together:
On Show Dem Camp’s Duade song, featuring soulful melodies from Ghanaian singer, Cina Soul off their Clone Wars Vol. IV: These Buhari Times album released in 2019, Tec describes how being a man felt like during his formative years on the song’s intro:
“I don’t think we realise what this crazy place does to our psyche man, you know like; we don’t even have any outlets to talk. Over here we feel like being a man means, we have to swallow everything, chest everything, keep it inside. When I was young they used to ask me, what are you doing in the kitchen? or guy why are you crying? Are you a child? Are you a baby? That’s real stuff they used to tell us. So you grow up thinking that you can’t talk to anybody, you can’t be vulnerable, you can’t express yourself to anyone, and in this crazy jungle that we live in again. This mad type of society where you really need to talk, you need to find ways to express; to open up emotionally. You know, they view it as some kind of weakness. It’s mad”
Those feelings of unsung victories and sacrifices, yet no one to celebrate them or at least see beyond their “tough” outlook. In some cases, some of these men display toxic masculinity, wanting to look strong all the time even when they’re internally falling apart. A whole lot of expectations are placed on them but none of these expectations require them to be human, to just be. Everyone needs an outlet somehow, because emotion is energy in motion. If those repressed emotions are not approached with patience and grace, they tend to spill out in unhealthy ways because those negative energies can’t be destroyed, only transmuted.
That’s generational conditioning and that cycle is gradually getting broken with constant learning, unlearning and relearning.
Kendrick Lamar describes how his father responded to his vulnerable state when he was young on Father Time released in 2022 off his Mr. Morale and The Big Steppers album that explored themes of healing, identity, generational trauma, mental health, self love, preservation and forgiveness.
“If I cried about it, he’d surely tell me not to be weak
Daddy issues, hid my emotions, never expressed myself
Men should never show feelings, being sensitive never helped”
On the intro to the song, Whitney Alford, (his fiancee) urged him to go for therapy and he displayed a traditional masculinity feeling , “real men don’t need therapy” . Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is accept that you need help. It’s not embarrassing, please.
Jah Digga, the English poet and rapper from Nottingham tells listeners on his 2025 viral song, Broken Blokes featuring Jackson Walker how it feels to be a man from his point of view, using the video representation to portray tearful eyes, crying out for help through a simultaneous flow of expressive emotions. Surprisingly and amazingly, the song resonated with men so deeply it gave him more visibility, which was also how I discovered it. The song carefully describes men’s mental health and the ‘hard guy’ stigma they face in the society.
If you’re a man reading this, take a deep breath before you answer these questions. Looking at your thoughts in slow motion, do you capture suppressive or expressive feelings? How often do you embrace vulnerability? Do you see it as a strength or weakness? When you’ve answered these questions honestly, it should serve as a reminder to declutter your mental space, at least once in a week.
“The expectation of men to be the strong one is a hell of an expectation, it’s actually terrible; because what do you do with all the real human vulnerability? and then it goes back to what we started off talking about, you have to become the superhero, the big muscle man and you aren’t, you’re just a person. Some of you are strong and some of you are weak, you’re just a person and a full person has all the vulnerability in the world. We need men’s liberation, to liberate men from the shackles of having to be a warrior and perfect and a soldier and a killer and a big strong muscle man; to just be a person.”
The above statement was an excerpt from a conversation between M.I Abaga and South African entertainment journalist and podcaster Caryn Solomon on the outro of Do You Know Who You Are? Take Some Time and Meditate on You track featuring Tay Iwar off his A Study on Self Worth: Yxng Dxnzel album released in 2018 that explored themes of Identity crisis and mental health.
On Mick Jenkins’ Stress fracture track from his Pieces of A Man album released in 2018, inspired from American jazz poet (Gil Scott Heron’s) debut solo album title of the same name, he feels he has no one to talk to because he has long internalized and normalized stress, wearing the tough guy persona like a perfect fit, suppressing those feelings:
Who do I run to?
The papers in frontal the pain that is subdue”
He comfortably leans on the shoulder of his vices to feel emotionally lighter. From his lens, it’s more comfortable to wear the charade of success because he believes it fills the void of those suppressed feelings. He wants to know the reason why he should really care about his feelings when he’s been taken advantage of when he shows his true self.
Discernment should be a necessary practice when attempting to open up to anyone. Because honestly? Some people just want to silently make a mockery of you when you’re speaking from the heart.
Jamaican-American singer Masego released Breathe as the lead single from his recently released album, Fix Your Face. Coated in soulfully resonant melodies, the song feels like a quiet anthem for men to feel seen, especially on their mental health month (when the song was officially released). Rather than masking pain, Masego asks for something simple: the space to breathe, to grieve, and to move through loss without rushing toward resolution. He embodies both resilience and renaissance, embracing his emotions with honesty and recognizing them not as weakness, but as a phase to be lived through.
On Ab-Soul’s Do Better song featuring Zacari off his Herbert album released in 2022, he describes the battles many men fight in silence. Beneath the layers of the song, it reveals verses that unravel the weight of grief, depression, regret, and the overwhelming pressure to keep moving even when everything inside feels broken. It reminds listeners that real strength isn’t found in pretending to be okay, it’s found in intentionally choosing to face the pain, asking for help when needed, and making the quiet decision to do better daily. Sometimes, survival is the bravest thing a man can do.
Do Better carries even more weight when placed alongside his own story. On the same album which arrived after years of his silence in the music scene, he revealed on Gotta Rap that he attempted suicide.
“I even tried suicide and I don’t know why
I know better than most that the soul don’t die”
As aware and conscious as the black lip pastor is, he still wanted to off himself? That was really gobsmacking to me and it brought me toward one realization, that mental health issues don’t have a face, it affects anyone regardless of how “stable” and “put together” they may outwardly look. Rather than hiding that painful chapter, he transformed it into art, using alchemy. These aren’t just reflections on mental health, they are expressions of a man returning from a dark place, choosing vulnerability over silence, and reminding listeners that healing begins the moment you decide your story isn’t over.
No one can conquer or navigate internal struggles alone, which is why a community of like minded individuals is very essential to undo these conditionings
An instance of that community-like support system of men was portrayed in the drama series (The Chi) on an excerpt from Season 6 Episode 4 titled Boyz II Men where Victor/Trig, played by Luke James brought men together around the neighborhood so they could talk about their internal struggles in a judgement free zone and giving each other grace while at it. That scene was used to celebrate Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month and also serves as a reminder that men deserve to be seen even after the awareness month.
Leave a Reply